Adventures in Parenting

(originally published on Multiply Dec 2007)

It's not for sissies, you know. The other day, I left work and went to pick up my younger two boys, ages 5.5 and 3.5. When we got home, I had to immediately do what I usually have to do upon arriving home.

I went to the bathroom.

As I am sitting there, I decide to go ahead and take off my work pants, cause the boys and I are about to do some picking up. But my legs are cold, so I'd like to go ahead and put my sweatpants on. I hear the boys in my room - right outside the bathroom - so I yell for one of them to please bring me my sweatpants.

"What?" I hear back.

"Please bring me my sweatpants. They're on top of the cooler in front of the TV dresser."

"Where are they?"

*sigh* "They're on top of the little cooler. It's on the floor in front of the dresser where the TV is."

(from the little one) "The cooler in the ba'ment?" Little feet pattering toward the basement door...

"NO! No, not in the basement. The LITTLE blue and white cooler. It's in MAMA'S ROOM."

"I can't see it."

"Of course you can't see it...my sweatpants are draped over it right now. Look for a black pair of sweatpants draped over the little cooler."

"What do they look like?"

"They're BLACK, and vaguely COOLER-SHAPED at the moment. Just look on the floor in front of the dresser!!"

By now I can sense I'm losing them, even if they COULD find it, now they're no longer interested. I finish the job, including the paperwork, and go out into my bedroom. They've vanished. I actually CALL them back in the room! I pick up my pants...shake them at the children, and point to the cooler.

"THAT little cooler!"

"OOOOHHhhhhh...." they both breathe. (middle child) "We didn't see it."

The little one pipes up, "That goes in the ba'ment."